501 S. Sherley Ave, Anna, TX 75409 Sundays at 10:00 AM

Relationship Buster

Let me ask this question and leave it up to some of you to help fill in the gaps. What has been your hardest staff relationship of your career. Without naming names and dragging people through “the mud” I want you to be proactive in talking about the things that helped bring resolution and unity back between you and said person. My hope is that you will be honest and objective in your writing and offer help to many of those in situations that would like guidance.

The root of all my problems with staff etc are in pride. Pride leads to anger. Pride leads to stubbornness. Pride leads to selfishness. Pride leads to DESTRUCTION! My pride has destroyed relationships and the only thing that has ever worked at repairing that damage has been humility and a willingness to admit wrong doing. I know that there is nothing fancy about that advice, but it is the only thing that has worked in my experience.

The end result for me is that I approach every new situation with the attitude of thankfulness. I am truly thankful for a new friend, new staff member, new church, new anything. The humility of being grateful has a profound leveling effect on the human heart and a great way of reminding me that the playing field is almost always even.

What have you learned? How have you grown? Are you in the middle of a relationship struggle as you read this post? Leave some comments and let’s get the ball rolling.

6 Comments

  • I wrote out a very long response to your questions then realized that “pride” was leading me to write on and on. So, I will leave you with this, I think you are dead on regarding pride. It has been an issue in my life. I think I grew up with a chip on my shoulder and wanted to proof people wrong about how I thought they perceived me. I have to check myself today at times to make sure I am not making “prideful” decisions. Humbling oneself does so much for everyone involved.

    Ortho Al
    January 27, 2009 at 9:59 am

    • Thanks for reading this and I have to do gut checks all the time. I too have lived in times and places where I felt it necessary to prove people wrong. I heard today that it is better to be respected for making the right choices, than being popular for making people happy. Pride is self serving, people serving behavior…humility is God centered, and God pleasing behavior. Tough…why do we write these thing?. :-)

      admin
      January 27, 2009 at 10:23 am

  • Hey Phil.. The only issue I’ve had recently was when the former worship pastor took the microphones away from the musicians. I resented it at first. Kind of a “what, don’t I sing well enough?” thought. After stewing about it, and praying, the Lord impressed on me that I was put there to play. Play, no matter what, until I tell you to stop. Sometimes the Lord needs to smack me upside the head.. :)
    It’s not very theological, but I try to keep the bumper sticker in mind when things start changing: “Git In, sit Down, Shut Up, Hang On!”. That seems to cover a lot of “But Lord, what about…” moments.

    On a website note: On my system, the ‘responses’ don’t wrap at the picture panel, they continue underneath and appear to be cut off. It’s probably just me (Linux instead of Microsquish)

    John Diaz
    January 27, 2009 at 10:39 am

    • I hope we got through that with a good conversation and understanding? ;-) Thanks for the help. I am having trouble identifying where the code is that is causing that issue. I am looking…just not real good at this yet. Thanks for your patience.

      admin
      January 28, 2009 at 9:23 pm

  • Hey Phil. Love the new website! So far all is well with leadership issues, however, I do have some issues with, “Well, so and so didn’t do it that way!!” LOL. Compliments of Chuckie!!! Thanks…. thanks a bunch!! :)
    I agree with you about the pride issue though. I think that’s where most problems occur in any relationship, not just in regards to career or staff.
    And about John’s website note: mine does the same thing. And I’m on microsquish.

    Connie M
    January 28, 2009 at 12:32 pm

    • Hey Connie glad to have your comments. I am trying to fix the wodth issue but I am such a novice at this stuff. I will get it eventually. Hang with me while I figure it out. How are things for you in your new context? Just slap Chuck and all will be well. :-) Miss you guys (and chuck e too).

      admin
      January 28, 2009 at 12:42 pm

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