One Time Guests

As I scroll across the blogosphere here is an article I cam across that we could all learn from. Especially as we have seen visitors over the last many months. Let me know what you think of this article by leaving a comment below:

Certain questions were asked to those who made “first time visits to church”. Some of the answers give you a clue as to how they want to be treated. . .

• 11 percent said they would be willing to identify themselves as a visitor when visiting a church for the first time
• 63 percent said they would prefer to wait until at least the second visit to let anyone know they are visiting
• 26 percent of formerly churched adults said they desire to slip in and casually introduce themselves after the service.

The fact is that for most churches, 90% of first timers that don’t return

“So aren’t we calling this group by the wrong name? Aren’t these First-Time ONE-TIME Guests, not first-time guests?”

With all of the assimilation strategy attempts (ie. free gifts/visits/thank you notes) to try to get those guests to come back for a second visit, what really in the end prompts a person to return?

If you look at 15 reasons why people won’t return a second time to your church, none of these are solved by giving stuff away or claiming rewards for showing up:

1. No welcome from the parking lot to the pews.
2. Finding the right door to sanctuary appeared difficult.
3. People in the pews held on to their “good seats.”
4. Too many “churchy insider words” like doxology and introit throughout the worship experience.
5. No safe, clean nursery for the babies and toddlers.
6. No sincere greeting extended by pastors or members.
7. No warmth or hospitality extended.
8. Missing joy and a spiritual atmosphere.
9. No sense of family in the church community.
10. Very limited reaching out to outsiders or strangers.
11. Very few ministries or activities for youth or children.
12. Public recognition of guests that left them feeling uncomfortable.
13. Appears to be no vision or purpose for the congregation.
14. On Sunday morning, members and ushers seem focused on “member only” conversations.
15. No one invited them back.

According to Kenny, the key isn’t the strategy or gimmicks, rather it is the culture that is created on Sunday morning and whether or not the church is “outward” focused. And this responsibility goes well beyond the pastor and staff – but it becomes the responsibility of the entire congregation.

5 Lessons in 5 Months

5 Lessons in as many months: Ministry

The fun of Twitter to me is that connection and challenge you receive when other take the time to truly engage one another through social media. This week a good friend and former staff member @joshburcham (on twitter) asked me a question: What are the 5 things you’ve learned about leadership &/or ministry since being at Pin Oaks Christian Fellowship the last 5 months? We should all be asking this question, and on a regular basis as well. So, after some time, thought, and prayer here are my answers:

1.Prayer is only an option for those who plan to fail.

I fail in prayer far to often. In any given week and at multiple times I am relearning this powerful truth. Prayer is the foundation of any great leader, movement, or ministry. Be disciplined about your prayer efforts and be consciously aware of how God uses a more prayer centered version of you in the coming week.

2.NOTHING is more important than keeping the Bible at the center of all you do.

The bible is our guide. Often I will buy into the hype that clever phrases and systems are all that is necessary to be successful in ministry. All we really need is to make sure that at the heart of our every efforts is the desire to make sure people come face to face with Biblical truth.

3.Never underestimate what God is capable of doing because you can’t imagine it yourself.

The imagination is amazing. Dreams are more than a gift. Imagination and dreams working in tandem are…fantastical…I know that is not a word but work with me here! However, our best dreams and most wildly imaginative goals are never big enough to match the wonders of our creator. His mind wanders in pools we are desperate to drink from and clouds we would die to fly through. Getting lost in the grand scale of our God’s scheme is an admirable pursuit worth our last drips of limited energy. Get lost in Him today…FYI this takes us back to the first to points of being in prayer and rooted in the Bible.

4.Good communication is NOT the same thing as lots of communication.

With the dawn of the social media tempest…or maybe it is more like it’s blazing noon day sun. We are surrounded by ways of communicating to those in and out of our spheres of influence. I will take the lead of @human3rror here and not argue the pros and cons of how and who to follow when engaging these tools of modern communication but I will say this: Just because you use any or all of these tools does not make you an effective communicator. Mass amounts of information does not take the place of careful, thorough, and intentional communication. In fact, many people are far more effective with 15 emails in a day than I have ever been with 2,285 twitter updates. Just think about how you can be more succinct and thorough in what you say and execute. Everyone around you will be grateful.

5.It is never as easy OR as hard as you thought it would be.

A quote I heard once on Man Vs. Wild can be paraphrased like this, “in survival it is not always about heading in the right direction. Sometimes just the act of doing anything can feel like progress and progress can propel you to rescue.” I hear the host say these things and my immediate thought is…I can do that. Really? I am barely running 4 miles without calling for an ambulance. Truth is survival is a lot harder than it seems. As I watch these shows I have learned a whole new respect for survivors of all shapes and sizes: People who are debt free, cancer patients, church planters, and many many more. However, a friend recently reminded of how we talk ourselves out of things before we ever begin with a comment about her journey to learning how to scuba dive: “Scuba was that way. I was so wrapped up in the thought of not breathing that it affected my breathing. Then I just breathed.” Sometimes it isn’t that hard at all. So the crazy paradoxical truth here is that you should have enough respect for the task you are about to undertake and avoid underestimating its challenge, all the while remembering that you are capable of accomplishing things you could never imagine in a thousand lifetimes if you rely on God for your direction.

Go do something. Do it now and have a blast.

Catapult Canyon

In response to an exercise in creativity (I needed it, felt really stiffled). I am posting a picture of a them park attraction. Hope you like Catapult Canyon. The name says it all!

Shrink or Shrug?

As I studied Nehemiah I came to 2 conclusions. Leaders don’t shrink or shrug! Nehemiah was so bold in his approach to everything he encountered.  Look at his every action and you will find a leader who avoided shrinking at enormous pressures or shrugging during difficult choices. He did all this with a foundation of certainty because he knew he was “with God.”

So, the first job as a leader should be to make sure we are ALWAYS with God. Know Him better than your favorite teams stats, know Him better than your girlfriends schedule, know Him better than your bank accounts, know Him above all else and THEN act like you know Him better than anything else in your life.

Lead those in whom you have been given or earned influence. When the time comes to act be decisive and avoid cowering. If you tend to cower in critical moments I have good and bad news. Good news, you may not be a leader. Bad news, you may not be a leader. In watching Nehemiah deal with the King and those who would ruin the efforts at rebuilding the wall he was not a “shrinker.”What if he had been a “shrinker?”

He was also not one to shrug. The hardest lesson I am learning these days has to relate to the “shrug.” When the King asked him what he needed he didn’t say, “I dunno.” He jumped and made huge requests that would launch the work of God into a new stratosphere with the King’s own resources. When given the chance don’t shy away or shrug and simnply defer your chance to lead to someone or somebody else’s agenda. I love how Nehemiah took charge for God’s goals. He is an encouragement and challenge to me and I hope this is to you as well.

Tension

“Most leaders spend their time avoiding tension. Good leaders endure it. Great leaders engage it. How do you handle tension in a team/life?”

I first posted this thought on Twitter and then thought I better explain myself. Sometimes a quote is totally self explanatory, sometimes it leaves you totally baffled, and then there are the quotes that demand you spell out some fundamentals or expose a truth for growing. So here is what I think:

Many years ago at Grand Canyon University I was able to “corner” Erwin McManus after a conference session. As always he did a fine job. However, I had a problem. My problem wasn’t so much with anything he said but with my current set of circumstances. I was about to start my first lead/head/senior (whatever you feel comfortable with) role and was excited but petrified. I approached him…thank him for his time…told him I only had one question…

“If you could go back and tell your younger self any one thing right before you started your first pastorate what would you say?”

He didn’t hesitate…not one second. He looked me straight in the eye (even with a hundred people trying to do the very same thing I was doing) and said… “I would tell myself to run head first into every challenge. You can’t afford to run away. Every challenge ignored comes back bigger than when you ran away from it.” (that is now a bit of paraphrase but the very heart of his comment)

Truth:

Every leader will face tension. Tension is that delicate balance we must all walk in order to arrive at great decisions, the most excellent and creative expressions, or any vision worth pursuing. The problem I see with current leadership trends today (especially in the church) is that we only give this thought “lip service.” The result is an idealogy, vision, passion, or creative voice that represents one person, and usually not the ONE that matters most. It is crafted out of fear and an over inflated sense of self that does not tolerate a different thought or opinion. The result is the glaring chink in the armor of a leader who has been called to stand as one commissioned strong, brave, and respected. The sad result is that people will only follow this leadership for so long, and the younger generations will flee from it with speed unlike you have ever seen.

Question:

How does one embrace and engage tension for the sake of vision? First let me say that I am a work in progress in this arena…BUT I am fighting this fight. I am hoping to engage some friends with this post who are doing the same and the goal will be to have them “Guest Post” in this blog. I will offer my thoughts and the thoughts of those who come alongside in an effort to “practice what I preach.” This is as much an exercise for me as it is anything, so be patient. Pray for me and those who will post as I am sure it will result in some great thought and personal challenge!

If you read this and would like to “guest post” send me an email (look on contact page). OR feel free to just leave a comment below if you don’t want to go to all that trouble of working out what “guest post” means.

Killing Cockroaches Review

This post has nothing to do with crushing insects, but it has everything to do with crushing status quo. As you read Tony Morgan’s latest book Killing Cockroaches, several things are bound to happen. First, you will laugh. Humor abounds in this book of great insight and authentic musings about strategic thinking in regards to leadership and intentionality. Second, you will cry. It was apparent, that as I read, Tony had been peeking in on some of my most fatal flaws and ripping away at any sense of security I “think” I have and challenged me to embrace thoughts like, “if we’re going to make our lives count, we’d better figure out how to begin today.” Third, if you are a leader you will know by what you do with the words you have read in this book. Wisdom is easy to find as you breeze by section after section of this masterfully designed book. When I finished I was buzzing with excitement about my leadership venue and the honor I have in leading people to the greatest truth ever in Jesus Christ. The rewards are eternal and Killing Cockroaches has dared me to lead the way I have to for maximum effectiveness. You have to get a copy, and lucky for you it is available now. Stop reading my review…seriously…CLICK HERE and buy this book.
Thanks Tony for the read and the preview.

Proud of My Place?

As we read through Nehemiah it is painfully clear how the state of Jerusalem was not something to be proud of before Nehemiah arrived on the scene. There walls were busted, they were vulnerable to attack, and the worst was that this was all a reflection on their faith. I am pretty sure I have never been in a place where people have a greater sense of pride over a “state” than here in Texas. People here are proud of the fact they live in Texas. Most of them are not obnoxious (most ) they are just convinced. I kinda like it.

Nehemiah helps re-establish a sense of pride. The wall was just a part of the process, bigger than rebuilding a wall was the work they did to rebuild it…together. Teamwork is a huge part of developing community. What projects have you done with other people that helped bind you to them? When was the last time you saw people pitching in to help on a project they could never do by themselves? How did that affect that group of people? Just saying that when things start to unravel and you loose your sense of touch with others around you…organize a worthwhile project and before you are done with that, the project will become secondary.

Relationship Buster

Let me ask this question and leave it up to some of you to help fill in the gaps. What has been your hardest staff relationship of your career. Without naming names and dragging people through “the mud” I want you to be proactive in talking about the things that helped bring resolution and unity back between you and said person. My hope is that you will be honest and objective in your writing and offer help to many of those in situations that would like guidance.

The root of all my problems with staff etc are in pride. Pride leads to anger. Pride leads to stubbornness. Pride leads to selfishness. Pride leads to DESTRUCTION! My pride has destroyed relationships and the only thing that has ever worked at repairing that damage has been humility and a willingness to admit wrong doing. I know that there is nothing fancy about that advice, but it is the only thing that has worked in my experience.

The end result for me is that I approach every new situation with the attitude of thankfulness. I am truly thankful for a new friend, new staff member, new church, new anything. The humility of being grateful has a profound leveling effect on the human heart and a great way of reminding me that the playing field is almost always even.

What have you learned? How have you grown? Are you in the middle of a relationship struggle as you read this post? Leave some comments and let’s get the ball rolling.