True Leadership

I’m a history nerd, and one of my favorite books is “The Mask of Command” by military historian John Keegan. In the book, Keegan compares several examples of military leadership styles, beginning with what he calls the “heroic” model of a leader: Alexander the Great.

Alexander – who, incidentally, was born the same night the original Temple of Artemis in Ephesus was burned to the ground – was a “lead from the front” kind of commander. He would pick the most heavily-defended part of the enemy line and personally lead the charge there. He had no problems with self-esteem, and started off conquering and uniting Greece and then conquered Persia, Egypt, Israel, and then headed east to India. He was only stopped in modern-day Pakistan when his weary army mutinied.

This is the common view of leadership: the “larger than life” commander, the Type A personality. But while being a Type A personality is not in itself a bad thing, this is not the type of leadership that Paul calls husbands to in his letter to the Ephesians:

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. (Ephesians 5:25-27)

Paul calls husbands to lead like Christ led.  Jesus – the King of Kings and Lord of Lords – died to redeem his bride, the Church. Where Alexander issued orders and saw his army as an expendable tool to help him achieve his own dreams, Jesus stooped down and washed His disciples’ feet.  He led by serving.  He left the throne room of heaven to become a baby in a barn out in the sticks.  He did this to make us holy, to enable us to do what we were created to do.

Husbands, how are you leading? Maybe you’re not the military commander, ordering your wife and kids around as the master and commander of your kingdom. But do you treat your wife as more or less “support staff,” responsible for taking care of the domestic stuff so that you can go off conquering?

Or maybe you’re on the other extreme – you avoid conflict with your wife like the plague. If she wants to lead, you’re happy to get out of the way. You put in your time earning the paycheck, and when you come home, you check out. This is actually how I picture Adam. Notice how The Fall went down:

Satan – in the form of a talking snake – lies to Eve, twists God’s words, and maligns His character. Adam had heard God’s original command – Eve had presumably heard it through Adam second-hand. And Genesis 3:6 points out that Eve was not alone when she was tempted – Adam was there, silent and passive. Instead of being willing to fight with Eve in order to protect her even from herself, Adam preferred not to rock the boat.

• Do you love your wife as Christ loved the church?
• How do you lead your family? Does it look like Christ – or is it more like Alexander? Or Adam?
• Do you view your wife as a partner – or just another set of hands to enable you to chase your dreams?
• Here’s a tough one: how concerned with your wife’s spiritual health? What are you willing to give up in order to help her grow and mature in Christ?  She was created to worship God in some unique and special way.  What are you doing to help her do that?

One last thought: Alexander wasn’t all bad. He conquered the known world and his armies would follow him about anywhere primarily because he led by example. Are you setting the pace for your family? After all, in Paul’s analogy, while the wife is compared to the Church, we’re supposed to play the role of Christ. If you’ve put your faith in Christ, then you have Christ’s Spirit living in you.  What is keeping you from leading as He did?